I remember growing up as a kid and wondering how 2 people could be married. Thinking that it must get boring talking to the same person everyday for the rest of your life. Oh how I was naive at that age.
Fast forward 20 years and I have been married for over 10 of them. I was sitting in the car the other day driving Annie to school when a commercial came on the radio talking about what makes a marriage successful.
Now being a mom to 3 kids, I have learned along the way that there is no specific way to be a successful mother. Every family and child is different and what works for one doesn’t work for another. Does that same concept apply to marriage?
I truly don’t believe that 1 person can make a list for what makes a successful marriage. I think there are so many variables included. I also don’t believe every marriage is suppose to work out. I think that many out there get married for the wrong reasons or too soon and it just isn’t meant to be.
Now with that being said, I believe that in order to be successful in your marriage you need to be 100% committed. There are no real secrets to marriage. I will share with you my tips. No marriage is going to be happy 100%. Couples have ups and downs and tough times. That is what makes you grow as a couple and that is where the 100% commitment comes into play.
I am NO marriage expert and there are days that I ask friends what to do in my marriage. I think having a support system is so important as long as you are not only going to them but also your spouse. Here are the tips that I have learned through the 10 years of marriage!!!
1. Say I love you every day. To be honest, this doesn’t always happen in my house between Richard and myself. I make the kids say it every night before bed but I don’t always do it. There is so much uncertainty that you need to remind your spouse daily what they mean to you.
2. Have sex often! Again, coming from experience, sex is a huge factor in any relationship even though we may not want to admit it. There was a time that I struggled with my body image and our sex life was nonexistent. It affected every other aspect of our relationship. I was miserable. He was miserable. Even our communication suffered.
3. Support each other in everything you do. I have tried a few different businesses before and none of them worked out. I didn’t fail at them but they weren’t what I was passionate about. Richard didn’t always agree with me but he always supported me. It is so important to tell the other that they are supported.
4. Kiss often! Such a small gesture but it can turn a bad day into a good day.
5. Talk about your day to each other. We do this over the dinner table. I love hearing about how Richard’s day went even though there are days I have no idea what he is talking about. (I really don’t understand what he does at work all the time even though he explains it!) Ask question and be truly interested in each other.
6. Go on date nights! Remember that giddy feeling you used to get when you were dating. Bring that back into your marriage. Yes kids get in the way and life happens. I get it!!! You don’t need to pay for a date night. Wait until the kids are in bed. A couple ideas for a romantic evening are…
* Go outside with a blanket and look at the stars.
* Curl up on the couch together, put a movie on Netflix, make some popcorn, and pretend you are at the movie theater.
* Make some little appetizers, watch a movie, and eat.
* Put on some lingerie and make out.
* Turn on the WII, Playstation, or any other video game device you have and have a friendly tournament. Make sure you place your bets and make it well worth your time!!!!
SEE!! There truly is no secret to a happy marriage. All the advice I can give to you is common sense. Treat your spouse the way that you want him to treat you. Make your marriage fun again!Take that extra step and do small gestures to remind each other how you felt when you first met. Leave notes in their lunch, send a text asking how their day is going, bring flowers home just because, leave a handwritten note on their pillow.
How do you show your spouse that you love them? What advice do you have for marriage? I’d love to hear what everyone has to say!!