The True Cost of Self Love

We have all had the thoughts like, “if only I were prettier.”  We all have a friend or 2 that we get jealous over because of their good looks or great body.

Today I am going to share with you the true costs of learning to love yourself and why you should start today.

This weekend I came across something that upset me.  As I am working on branding my business, I was looking for images of curvy, beautiful, and real women for inspiration.  I went to the trusted Pinterest and typed in curvy women.  What I got shocked me!!!  There weren’t curvy women in the pictures at all!!  They were thin women with big boobs.  That’s it.  I am not saying these women are not beautiful because they are!!  I am saying that is not the inspiration I was searching for.  I am a curvy woman and I am proud of it!!

My husband say how frustrated I was becoming and told me that I should try other words.  I had no idea what words to use because I was truly expecting curvy to work.  Much to my dismay and sadness, the word that worked was chubby!!  These beautiful, curvy, and stunning women could only be found on Pinterest by using the word chubby.  It made me extremely mad and sad all at the same time!!

With all the work I have done on my own body image in the past 2 years, chubby was not a word I have used to describe myself and I don’t believe it should be a word ANY women uses to describe herself!!!

This post is for all you beautiful, curvy, amazing and real women out there!!!  We NEED to change the language that we use.  I am going to share with you the cost of changing the language that we use.

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THE TRUE COST OF SELF LOVE

1. Women and girl’s not comparing themselves to images they see in advertising.  Wouldn’t this just be a wonderful cost to gain around the world.  Women and girls realizing that their bodies are unique and are meant to be that way.  No more wanting to be skinny in order to feel beautiful.  No more reason to constantly photoshop your photos to cover up your flaws.  Imagine all the different images of women that our children would see!!!

2. Women being the best mothers that they can be.  For the years that I struggled with body image, my mothering was affected.  I avoided pictures and shorts.  My son could pick up that I wasn’t feeling great about myself.  I am even starting to see some effects of that on him and it makes me sad.  Imagine all the memories that will be created by allowing us to be comfortable in our own skin.  Your children will grow up to be confident and what more does a mother want for her children!

3. An unlimited supply of self esteem!  No more doubt, no more self hatred, no more body shaming.  Really!!!!  Can you imagine?!?!?!  I can!!  I can picture women all over walking with their head’s high, confidence just shining through with the smiles on their faces.  Being proud of who they are, where they came from, and where they are going.

4. Women supporting each other instead of bashing each other.  Another wow moment for me!!  I hope that my daughter grows up where women will stick together, help each other up when knocked down, and love each other for their imperfections.  There would be no more bullying each other (this goes for adults too!)

5. No more self doubt!  Imagine women realizing that they can be and do anything they want.  After all, it is something we say to our children all the time!!  Now imagine you believed it about yourself.  No more telling yourself that you are not good enough.  No more telling yourself that you aren’t skinny enough or pretty enough.  The confidence and self love you would have for yourself would give you the power to reach for your ultimate dreams!!  Become the person you have always wanted to be.  That is who I am becoming and that is who I want my children to know they can become!!!!

I truly believe that this is possible!!  This is my mission and my life goal.  I am here to make every woman I come into contact with love themselves and realize that they are so much more than their outer beauty.  True beauty lives within all of us!!!

Revisiting My 101 Goals in 1001 Days

It has been awhile since I looked through my list so here we go!!!!  The ones that I have completed, I will write underneath what it was!!!!

101 GOALS IN 1001 DAYS

1. VISIT B.C.

* We went to Vancouver for a week in February.  It was rainy but we still had so much fun!!!

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2. MAKE A CARE PACKAGE

3. DO A COUPLE’S BOUDOIR SHOOT.

4. GO TO THE CALGARY ZOO.

5. VISIT JASPER NATIONAL PARK.

6. BUY A HOUSE.

7. RIDE IN A HOT AIR BALLOON.

8. HAVE ANOTHER BABY.

*Baby girl Laycock is due August 21, 2016.

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9. BUY A BIGGER VEHICLE.

10. GET TO MY GOAL SIZE: SIZE 12

11. WRITE A BOOK

*I have written my ebook.  Now just to figure out how to publish it!

12. TAKE KIDS TO NOAH’S ARK.

13. TRY A NEW FITNESS CLASS ONCE PER MONTH.  (WILL CONTINUE AFTER BABY COMES!)

14. BUY A PAIR OF SEXY HEELS.

15. GET A MASSAGE.

*I have gotten 2 massages since becoming pregnant!

16. FINISH MY DEGREE (FULL PSW: 3 COURSES SHORT)

17. BECOME A FREELANCE WRITER

18. GO ROCK CLIMBING

19. HAVE A DATE NIGHT ONCE PER MONTH.

20. HAVE OUR 3-6 MONTH EMERGENCY SAVINGS SET UP.

21. PAY OFF STUDENT LINE OF CREDIT.

22. GET 1,000 FOLLOWERS ON MY BLOG.  (CURRENTLY AT 9.  FEEL FREE TO FOLLOW TO HELP ME GET TO 1,000)

23. DYE MY HAIR BLONDE.

*Yup I did it and realized it wasn’t me!!

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24. BUY AN RV.

25. TAKE A TRAIN RIDE ACROSS CANADA.

26. GO TO WALT DISNEY WORLD.

27. LEARN TO SEW

28. RENEW OUR VOWS

29. ATTEND A BLOGGING CONVENTION

30. CREATE OUR WILLS

31. GO ON A CRUISE

32. HOST AN OPEN HOUSE FOR MY MENU.

33. READ 25 NEW BOOKS.

*So far I have read 7.  Far to Go by Alison Pick, The House We Grew Up In by Lisa Jewell, Good to a Fault by Marina Endicott, The Myth of You and Me by Leah Stewart, The Silent Wife by A.S.A Harrison, Get Rich Lucky Bitch by Denise Duffield-Thomas, and The Law of Divine Compensation by Marianne Williamson.  Currently I am reading The Power of the Heart by Baptist De Pape.

34. TAKE A COOKING CLASS WITH RICHARD.

35. JOIN A BOOK CLUB

*Done in August 2015.

36. HOST A DINNER PARTY

37. SEE THE NORTHERN LIGHTS.

*I saw them 1 night after work and they were breathtaking!!

38. COMPLETE A 365 DAY PHOTO CHALLENGE

39. TRY LOBSTER

40. SHOWER, DO HAIR/MAKE UP EVERYDAY FOR A MONTH.

41. START A DATE NIGHT EXCHANGE BETWEEN PARENTS.

42. READ UNREAD BOOKS ON THE BOOKSHELF.

43. GO TO A SHOOTING RANGE WITH RICHARD.

44. GO SKIING.

45. TAKE THE KIDS BERRY PICKING

46. GO SNOWSHOEING.

47. GET A TATTOO

48. PUT $20 IN SAVINGS FOR EVERY ONE COMPLETED.

49. GO ZIPLINING

50. STAY IN A HOTEL WITH RICHARD

51. SEE CIRQUE DU SOLEIL

52. BUY A PIECE OF SEXY LINGERIE

53. GET CANVASES MADE AND HUNG UP

54. PLANT A TREE

55. HAVE A HUGE GARDEN

56. TAKE RICHARD TO THE RUINS IN MEXICO

57. GO CANOEING

58. GO WHITEWATER RAFTING

59. VISIT YELLOWSTONE

60. BUY A WATERPROOF CAMERA.

61. CREATE A BLOGGING OFFICE.

*It is done and serves as my life services office as well as my local subscription box office.

62. GO A MONTH WITHOUT FAST FOOD.

63. TRY A NEW RESTAURANT.

*We tried Texas Gate in Cochrane, Alberta.

64. CREATE A ROMANTIC DINNER WITH RICHARD

65. GO ON A WEEKEND GETAWAY WITH RICHARD

66. ORGANIZE DESK

*Done now that I have an office area!

67. GO TO MY FIRST CONCERT

68. SEND SOMEONE FLOWERS

69. COOK RICHARD DINNER IN ONLY AN APRON

70. SURPRISE TRIP TO MY PARENTS

71. PAY FOR MY PARENTS TO VISIT US

72. BUY NEW BED

73. FINISH ANNIE’S DRESS UP CLOSET

74. BUY A GIRLY DRESS

75. TAKE A LESSON ON HOW TO DO MAKE UP

76. GO A WEEK WITHOUT SPENDING MONEY

77. POST A VIDEO ON YOUTUBE.

*I did this!!!!  It was so nerve wracking!!!!

78. DECLUTTER MY HOUSE

79. EAT A VEGETARIAN MEAL 4 TIMES A MONTH

80. GO SCUBA DIVING

81. SELL A PIECE OF ARTWORK

82. RESEARCH MY FAMILY HISTORY

83. HAVE MY GRANDMA TEACH ME HOW TO MAKE GERMAN BISCUITS.

*When I went home in December for Christmas, my mom and I went and my grandma taught us how to make them!!!

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84. EXPLORE A CAVE.

*We went and checked out the Cave and Basin in Banff.

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85. GO TO WEST EDMONTON MALL

86. TAKE THE KIDS TO THE OCEAN

87. COMPLETE A NO SPEND MONTH

88. FLOSS DAILY FOR A MONTH

89. MAKE HOMEMADE JAM

90. TAKE A SPUR OF THE MOMENT TRIP.

*This was our trip to Vancouver.  We had 1 day to plan it and were on our way!!!

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91. VISIT A GHOST TOWN

92. SPEAK IN FRONT OF GIRLS ABOUT RAPE

93. KEEP A FOOD JOURNAL

94. STOP DRINKING SODA FOR A MONTH

95. TAKE A TRIP WITH MY SISTERS

96. TAKE MY MOM FOR A MASSAGE

97. BUY A NEW COMPUTER

98. GO TO KARAOKE

99. GO ON A HONEYMOON

100. TAKE A POTTERY CLASS

101. MAKE A TIME CAPSULE WITH THE KIDS.

2 Years Already!!

It is hard to believe that we have now been calling Airdrie our home for 2 years!!!  We moved to Airdrie, Alberta from Muskoka, Ontario.  We decided that we needed a change and were ready to do so as a family.

Richard left in April of 2014 to drive out to find work.  I waited until Q was done with school to move so we made the move July 2nd.  We packed up toys, kitchen items, and a few other things and that was it.  We left the rest of our life behind in Ontario to get a fresh start.

I remember we slept on air mattresses for 3-4 weeks before we all finally had beds.  We bought a used couch and luckily we had great neighbors who lent us an extra dining room table and dishes while we waited for all our stuff to come.

The first year out here was amazing.  We have tried so many new things but this 2nd year has even topped that!!!!

In year 2 we have accomplished:

STARTING MY OWN BUSINESS

I started my own life coaching business back in January.  I currently have 1 1 on 1 client as well as 4 clients in my newest workshop.  It has always been a goal of mine to work with women and I am so excited to now have the chance to do it!!!

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STARTED A LOCAL BI MONTHLY SUBSCRIPTION BOX

Yes I am crazy!!  I am finding great local businesses that offer amazing products.  Monday will be delivery day for my 2nd box and I am looking forward to continued growth for this business.

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QUINTON FINISHED GRADE 3

It is hard to believe that he will be going into Grade 4 in September!!!  He had such an amazing school year and makes me proud everyday!!!

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ANNIE TURNED 5

It’s hard to believe that my current baby is already 5 years old!!!!  I honestly do not know where the last 5 years has gone.  (As most mothers can agree!!!!)  While turning 5 years old, she will now be starting kindergarten in September.

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WE EXPERIENCED OUR FIRST PLAY

We were lucky enough to win tickets on Annie’s 5th birthday to go check out a play at a local theater.  We loved the experience and had such a blast!!!  I can not wait to take the kids to another one.

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RICHARD TRAVELS FOR WORK

Like the first year, Richard has been traveling for work.  We are a bit more used to it now, however, Annie does not like when he leaves.  This will be something I am sure we will not really ever get fully used to.

I AM PREGNANT WITH BABY #3

Yes  how exciting!!!!!!  Due in about 7 weeks, I will be the mother to 3 children.  WOW!!!  That really doesn’t even seem possible!!!! Baby girl is due on August 21st.

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Of course, we have made so many other memories in Airdrie as well.  These are just a few of the highlights.  I am excited to see what growth year 3 will bring!!!!

Art of Food: Garlic Potatoes

I haven’t done a food post in a little while.  Honestly, we haven’t been eating anything too exciting!  With me not feeling well and having 0 energy to cook, we have had more spagetti nights and cereal nights than I care to admit to.

However, I forced myself to cook dinner last night and it turned out super yummy.  (Everything is always yummy until 10 minutes later when they baby doesn’t agree!)  I decided to make chicken breasts.  They were made with butter, paprika, garlic salt, and pepper and just baked in the oven.  (They smelled AMAZING as they were cooking!)

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Well let’s talk about the main show of this post.  The garlic potatoes that I made.  I am a lover of potatoes.  It doesn’t matter how they are made, I will eat them!!  As far back as I can remember, potatoes have always been a favorite.

There are only so many times that you can make mashed potatoes before they get boring so yes, I will admit, I have a board on Pinterest strictly dedicated to potatoes.

Anyway, here is the recipe.  I found it on Pinterest and changed it up a bit to suit what we would like.  (As I always do!!  I believe recipes are just suggestions and should be changed!!)

GARLIC POTATOES

5 Red Potatoes

4 Tablespoons of butter melted

Cayenne Pepper (I don’t measure but guessing I used 4 or 5 teaspoons)

Garlic  (I used 4 cloves)

Pepper

Sea Salt.

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Wash the potatoes well and place them on a cutting board.  Start slicing through but do not cut all the way through.  Potato should still hold it’s shape.

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Melt the butter and mix the garlic, cayenne pepper, salt, and pepper into it.

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Use a spoon and pour the butter mixture over the top of the potatoes, making sure to get in between the slits of the potatoes.

I baked covered at 350 for about 20 minutes and then flipped the potatoes and poured a bit more melted butter over the top. I put them back in for another 25 minutes.  Poke them to see if they are soft and ready to be eaten.

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They can be served with sour cream or chives on the side.  Quinton gobbled them up and loved how they were spicy!!!

They would even be great if you put them on the BBQ in some tinfoil!!!!  Let me know if you try that!!!  The benefit of these is that you can add any spice to them that you enjoy and your family enjoy and create something unique everytime you make them!!

This May Get A Bit Emotional

At the beginning of June, for the first time ever, I decided to take the leap and invest money into a course to help me build my life coaching business.  This is the start of week 3 and I am currently working on my ideal client.  There were a bunch of questions to answer and I did that with no problems.  I even gave my ideal client a name, Amanda.  Don’t ask me why I picked that name, I just did.  Moving on through Section 2, I was asked to look through photos and find a photo of my perfect client.  That is when I found this photo…..

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That is me in the middle.  This picture was taken almost 3 years ago at my sister’s wedding on July 13th.  I remember that day so vividly.

I hated when I slipped that dress on.  I felt fat, ugly, like a big blob that no one could love.  I remember having to put a smile on my face because I was so happy I was there to witness my sister marry her best friend and high school sweetheart all the while I was wondering what everyone thought of me.

I hated how my hair made look and feel even fatter than I was.  I had to pretend that I loved every moment of that day so that my sister would enjoy hers.  After all, it was all about her!!!!

My dress was a size in the 20s.  The biggest I had ever had to purchase before.  I dreaded the moment when I had to walk down the aisle and have all those eyes upon me and see what a “mess” I had become.

I felt hopeless and vowed that I would diet and lose the weight that made me feel this way about myself.  After all, there had to be something that I could do!  I thought of myself as a healthy person.  I didn’t work out a ton but I also didn’t eat that unhealthy.  Yet somehow I was at my biggest weight ever!!!

I thought that is all anyone could see of me including my family.  I figured once I was out of sight, they were talking about me and about how large I had become and how I needed to gain control.

The thing I didn’t realize back then was that I needed to gain control but not of what I thought needed to be controlled.  I needed to control those little voices in my head that kept telling me that my weight defined who I was.  That being fat somehow made me less of a person.

It wasn’t until a year later when I had figured this out.  Figured out that in order to get to where I wanted to be with food and exercise, I needed to love where I was.  That included loving my overweight self.  That included loving my stretch marks.  That included me loving the fact that my thighs touched or my stomach wasn’t flat.

I realized that dieting wasn’t going to change any of it.  I had to change how I felt about myself before I could make that lifestyle change.

That is what makes me from 3 years ago my perfect client.  A woman that has come to her breaking point and realized that she can achieve what she wants by loving herself.  That no matter what, those little voices inside her head can be changed!!  They can go from hatred to love just by working on them and realizing that is the change that needs to be done!!

3 years ago I weighed 221 pounds.  Today I weigh 207 pounds.  No there isn’t much of a difference, however, I appreciate my body for all that it does.  I am stronger, not just physically but mentally as well.  I am not ashamed of my body anymore.  It may not be perfect but the flaws that I carry around make me who I am.  I am 100% okay with that!!!!!!!

That is my perfect client!!!

 

Reasons I HATE Being Pregnant

I know, I know!!!!!  There are a ton of women out there that would love to get pregnant.  A few of my friends have been there!!!  I truly wish that all of you who wanted a baby could have one!!!!

I have been lucky enough to be currently pregnant with my 3rd baby and possibly my last.  (I would LOVE to have another 1 but not sure my body or sanity can take another pregnancy!)

I wish that I was one of those women who loved being pregnant.  However, I am NOT!!!!  I will list for you the reasons why!  Pregnancy did not and has not come easy for me.  These last 32 weeks (well 32 weeks tomorrow!) have been awful, draining (mentally and physically), and filled with more throwing up than I wish I had.

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REASON 1: MORNING SICKNESS

Now morning sickness in general sucks and something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.  However, at this point, I think I would prefer general morning sickness.  All 3 of my pregnancies have been filled with not enjoying foods to throwing up all day long.  I have thrown up on every street corner and in almost every bathroom I come into contact with.  Even the Diclectin doesn’t help me!!  I have had to be put on IV fluids due to not even holding water down.  My kids have witnessed me throwing up in the kitchen sink to running to the bathroom and throwing up while someone rubs my back!!  It has become a part of life for the past 32 weeks and I can honestly say, the 1 habit I am looking forward to getting rid of in the next 8-10 weeks!!!

REASON 2: HEARTBURN

Now this is something that I suffer with often when I am not pregnant.  However, pregnancy related heartburn is horrendous!!! I live off of Tums.  I have a bottle in my car, living room, and bedroom.  Everything seems to be just a temporary relief and doesn’t last long enough.  I even have to wake up in the middle of the night to take some because my heartburn will wake me up.

REASON 3: EXHAUSTION

This is something that comes with pregnancy.  Having it with 2 other children is not easy!!  There are days that my exhaustion and morning sickness combined do not allow me to venture far off from the couch.  I have learned I need to nap almost daily just to make it through the day!!  I do not sleep at night and it is catching up to me!

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REASON 4: SYMPHYSIS PUBIC DYSFUNCTION

If you do not know what this is or have never experienced it, consider yourself lucky!!  When I was pregnant with Annie, I separated my pelvis doing squats at 20 weeks.  Yes it truly is as painful as it sounds!!!  This pregnancy I did some research and read that it can be easier for it to happen the 2nd time so I stopped doing Pilates and really took it easy as I did not want a repeat.  Well, I was not that lucky!!  It started about 5-6 weeks ago and is just continuing to get worse.  (It will keep getting worse as the baby gets bigger!!)  There are days that I can’t lift my legs without pain.  There are days I can’t walk without pain.  Everything in my pelvis and hips area hurt.  It is a pain that doesn’t go away.  Even the past few days, turning in my sleep has been extremely painful!!!  Another thing I wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy!!

REASON 5: SLEEPING ON MY SIDE

I am a tummy sleeper.  Always have been and always will be.  Sleeping on my side is something that has NEVER been comfortable to me.  I am at a loss as to what to do with my arms.  (I know sounds silly!!)  Also with a combination of my pelvis and hip pain, sleeping on my side has become even more of a chore.  The top part of my right leg falls asleep so I can’t lay on my left side for long.  I now have to sleep with a pillow behind me and a pillow in front of me.  It doesn’t help me much but it allows me to keep my pelvis more in line so I don’t wake up super sore from sleeping.

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Now there are a couple reasons I LOVE being pregnant.

REASON 1: FEELING THE BABY MOVE

There is nothing more exciting than feeling the baby move around inside you.  Yes there are moments when it is uncomfortable but to know that it is inside of me growing, amazes me every single day!!

REASON 2: THE BABY

The reason I continue to get pregnant despite having awful pregnancies are the wonderful children it has given me.  I have 2 amazing children and I wouldn’t trade them for the world.  They are incredible little humans that continue to amaze me!!  I am proud to say that I carried them both for 42 weeks!!!

Pregnancy may not be a friend to me but it gives me the greatest gift in the world.  My children are beautiful, smart, amazing, talented, and outspoken.  (Not always a good thing now but will benefit them in the future!!)  I love watching them grown into the incredible youngadults they are becoming.  So yes, I am counting down to the end of this pregnancy so that I can enjoy the sleepless nights, crying baby, and family bonding that I will cherish for years to come!!!!

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Hospital Bag Checklist

Since I am almost 31 weeks pregnant, I figured I better start packing my hospital bag.  However, I don’t remember what I packed in my bag the last time I delivered!!

The benefit of having midwives deliver in the hospital is that I don’t need to stay long after delivery.  I am released normally 2-3 hours after giving birth.

I have looked up lists upon lists but I would still love some input onto what everyone really used in their hospital bag.  I will give you a list of what I currently have in there!!

CURRENTLY IN MY HOSPITAL BAG

3 CLOTH DIAPERS AND COVERS

1 SNAPPI

DIAPER WIPES

3 TAKE HOME OUTFITS

A PAIR OF YOGA PANTS FOR MYSELF

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Oh and don’t you just love my diaper bag!!!  My mom bought it for me for Christmas!!!  I am absolutely in love with it!!!

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That is all I currently have.  I know I need to still put in bottles and formula as I do not intend to breastfeed.  (That willbe a whole separate post!)  I also plan on bringing:

Deodorant

Dry Shampoo

Shampoo/Conditioner

Chapstick

Shirt

Bra

Underwear

Padsicles

 

So now, is there anything that I am missing?  What did you bring in your hospital bag that you were glad you did?  What is something that you forgot to put in your hospital bag that you wish you had?  Thanks for all the help.

BeYOUtiful Rewritten Style: Journaling 101

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Now writing is a big part of my life and my business.  Hence why I am a blogger.  Today I am going to share with you my journals and tips on how to do it.  Tips help if you are a beginner.  However, I find that journaling is completely personal and every person finds a unique way to do it with their style.

Remember these are just tips on how I journal.  Try it out and see how it works for you.  Tweak things as you go and figure out your own creativity style!!

I journal 2 times a day.  Once in the morning when I wake up and haven’t left my bed yet and then again at night when I climb into bed and before I start reading the book I am currently reading.  There is a reason to my madness.

MORNING JOURNALING

I start off by journaling 2 specific lists in the morning to get my day started on the right foot.  The first list I create is my top 3 to do list for that day.  Like I have said in previous posts, I am a list maker.  My to do list (along with other women’s to do lists) can include 100 items a day.  I focus on the 3 on my list that are most important to me to complete.  Anything done above and beyond those 3 are a bonus for me!!!

The 2nd list I make are my goals for the next 6 months.  I am really trying to focus my energy on my goals and having them written down and sent out to the universe is the first step to achieving them!!!  This again reminds me daily of my goals.  You can always add and take away goals that are on your list.  That is what is great about goals.  They change!!!

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After I do that journaling, I go about my day.  I have the right mindset ready and it gives me motivation to complete my to do list and work towards the goals that I want to reach.

EVENING JOURNALING

Now in the evening, after the kids are in bed and the house is quiet, I climb into bed and pick up my journal once again.  Again there are 2 parts to my evening journaling as well.

Part 1 is where I journal about my day.  Things that went on, feelings I had, really anything about my day.  It isn’t always the most interesting but that is my life!!

Part 2 is where I write 5 things I am grateful for that happened during the day.  There are days for me that it is as simple as Annie went to bed easily.  (Which let’s face it…. doesn’t happen often enough!!!)  There are some days that I can’t even come up with 5 things.  We all have those days!!!!  The point is that you need to show gratitude for what you currently have in your life!!!!!

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BLOGGING TIPS

1. DON’T FORCE IT. WRITE WHAT COMES.

The content doesn’t matter as long as you are journaling.  Get out those feelings and thoughts so they don’t fester.  I find that especially as women, we hold things in.  Journaling helps us to release those feelings in a healthy way.

2. BE HONEST.

Remember, you don’t need to show your journal to anyway if you don’t want to.  This is meant for your private thoughts and feelings.

3. GET CREATIVE.

Have fun with your journaling.  I don’t doodle much but I do know many people that do.  Doodle in your journal.  Add color.  Cut out photos and paste them in their.  The sky is the limit and so is your imagination.  Let your creativity shine and you will enjoy doing it that much more!

4. DON’T GIVE UP.

Journaling doesn’t always come easy.  There are days that I fall asleep before I do my night time journaling.  It takes time to create a habit.  Stick with it.  It is always fun to look back and see what you were doing last year or even 3 years ago.  See how much you have grown as a person!!!

I would love to hear how your journaling is going.  How long have you been journaling?  Are you new to journaling?  Plus I would even love to see pictures of journals!!!  (Remember I am addicted to buying them!!!)

Why I Hope My Children Don’t Remember My Pregnancy

I haven’t really talked much about my pregnancy on the blog.  I am 29 weeks.  Up till this point, it has been a very long pregnancy.  Morning sickness has not been kind to me.  I have a 2 week period where I was down to 2 Diclectin per day but it didn’t last.  I am now back up to 4 pills a day.   The throwing up comes and goes but it is the extreme nauseaus feeling that gets me.

Not only is the morning sickness a problem, so is my pelvis.  When I was pregnant with Annie, I separated my pelvis at 20 weeks.  It was very painful.  I did research when I found out I was pregnant with #3 to see what my chances were for it returning.  I decided to stop Pilates because I didn’t want to chance injuring myself again.  Well, the weight of the baby is now causing pain again.  I have bought a support belt and it helps sometimes.  Today is a rough day and my pelvis hurts extremely bad even when I’m just walking from the living room to the kitchen.

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Now you are probably wondering why my title is why I hope my children don’t remember my pregnancy.  Well let me explain….

They have now witnessed me puking more times than I can count.  They have witnessed me not being able to get out of bed because I am either that ill or in that much pain that I can barely move.

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Now not only all of that which seems like enough to me, I have been short tempered with them.  As with many moms, when you are not feeling well, you take it out on the kids.  They are the easy targets.  Well that has been me but it hasn’t lasted just a week.  I am on Week 29 of feeling miserable and being miserable.

I yell more than I normally do.  I get angrier faster than I normally do.  I have no patience with them like I normally do.  All of these things in turn makes them act out in ways they normally wouldn’t.  Quinton has decided that this is his life to live and that he no longer needs to listen or do what I ask.  Annie has now decided that her big brother makes total sense and feels the same way and isn’t afraid to voice it.

I broke down and bawled my eyes out last night because bedtime was awful!!   Bedtime isn’t normally my favorite part of the day but last night was the worst it has ever been!!!  I went to put Annie to bed at 8:30.  She finally fell asleep at 11:30.  I locked myself in the bathroom and cried my eyes out.  I yelled and screamed.  I walked away.  I took away her stuffy.  I closed the door.  No matter what I did.  No matter how gentle I was talking to her or how loud I yelled at her, I wasn’t getting my point across.

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These are the moments in my parenthood that I am not proud of but I will admit to them.  I am exhausted, sick, and just feeling plain miserable and unfortunately it’s my kids who are getting the brunt of those emotions.

These are the reasons that I don’t want my kids to remember my pregnancy.  I don’t want them to remember the times that I yelled and screamed.  I don’t want them to remember the times where I couldn’t get out of bed.  I don’t want them to remember the times where I was so sick, I was laying on the bathroom floor.

I know once the baby comes all the negative will be forgotten.  I just hope that it will be forgotten for always and once this baby is out and I am feeling like a normal human being.  (Yes I know lack of sleep will still play a role but to be honest I am looking forward to that lack of sleep.  At least I know when I do sleep, it will be in comfort and not in constant pain.)

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For now, my childrenwill have to put up with a grumpy mom and I will do my best to keep the beast locked up inside.

Were you the same way when you were pregnant???

Would You Allow Your Son to Wear Pink??

Now I must honestly say, I never thought I would be asking this question.  It truly boggles my mind.  Here is what happened….

My husband wanted me to go pick up some used BMX gear for my son who will be trying out for BMX this summer.  He didn’t give me any information on the equipment so I went.

All the equipment was in great shape.  There were BMX pants that had a strip of pink on them.  Not much in my opinion but it is still noticeable.  The woman let my son choose between 2 of the BMX shirts.  She had 1 that was gray and black and another one that was pink and black.  (The pink is a strip at the top.)  Quinton decided he wanted the pink one and I said that was perfectly fine.  I bought everything and Quinton was so excited to be getting all this gear.

Afterwards, we rushed to pick up Annie and drove the 25 minutes to lacrosse practice where Richard was meeting us.  We arrived a few minutes late so Q ran in with his equipment and met his dad inside to get changed while I parked the car.

Richard came out asking about the gear and I told him that it was in great shape but that I wasn’t expecting it to be pink.  However, Q loved it and I bought it anyway.  Well…… that is when the fireworks happened!!

He demanded I take him back out to the car to see the gear so I took him.  He then proceeded to get pissed that I even bought the gear because it had pink on it.  I told him that we got a great deal on all of it.  Fox pants and shirt, shin guards, elbow pads, and gloves all for $80!!!!!  I then kept going and told him that Quinton decided he wanted the pink shirt and he liked the pink pants and that I really didn’t care if he wanted to wear pink stuff!!!

He argued with me and told me that I had to resell everything and that he wasn’t going to let his son wear pink gear.  Then he walked away and decided he wasn’t going to stay and watch Q practice but drive home.

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I seriously want to know opinions.  I don’t think there is anything wrong with Quinton wanting to wear BMX gear that has pink on it.  He is an 8 year old boy!!!  He loves it.  He is actually outside currently wearing it riding his bike around.

I am personally quite impressed and proud that Quinton was so excited to wear pink.  He is confident and he has amazing self esteem.  I hope that he continues to have it and never questions what he wants in life.

What is your opinion?  Would you allow your son to wear pink?