At the beginning of June, for the first time ever, I decided to take the leap and invest money into a course to help me build my life coaching business. This is the start of week 3 and I am currently working on my ideal client. There were a bunch of questions to answer and I did that with no problems. I even gave my ideal client a name, Amanda. Don’t ask me why I picked that name, I just did. Moving on through Section 2, I was asked to look through photos and find a photo of my perfect client. That is when I found this photo…..
That is me in the middle. This picture was taken almost 3 years ago at my sister’s wedding on July 13th. I remember that day so vividly.
I hated when I slipped that dress on. I felt fat, ugly, like a big blob that no one could love. I remember having to put a smile on my face because I was so happy I was there to witness my sister marry her best friend and high school sweetheart all the while I was wondering what everyone thought of me.
I hated how my hair made look and feel even fatter than I was. I had to pretend that I loved every moment of that day so that my sister would enjoy hers. After all, it was all about her!!!!
My dress was a size in the 20s. The biggest I had ever had to purchase before. I dreaded the moment when I had to walk down the aisle and have all those eyes upon me and see what a “mess” I had become.
I felt hopeless and vowed that I would diet and lose the weight that made me feel this way about myself. After all, there had to be something that I could do! I thought of myself as a healthy person. I didn’t work out a ton but I also didn’t eat that unhealthy. Yet somehow I was at my biggest weight ever!!!
I thought that is all anyone could see of me including my family. I figured once I was out of sight, they were talking about me and about how large I had become and how I needed to gain control.
The thing I didn’t realize back then was that I needed to gain control but not of what I thought needed to be controlled. I needed to control those little voices in my head that kept telling me that my weight defined who I was. That being fat somehow made me less of a person.
It wasn’t until a year later when I had figured this out. Figured out that in order to get to where I wanted to be with food and exercise, I needed to love where I was. That included loving my overweight self. That included loving my stretch marks. That included me loving the fact that my thighs touched or my stomach wasn’t flat.
I realized that dieting wasn’t going to change any of it. I had to change how I felt about myself before I could make that lifestyle change.
That is what makes me from 3 years ago my perfect client. A woman that has come to her breaking point and realized that she can achieve what she wants by loving herself. That no matter what, those little voices inside her head can be changed!! They can go from hatred to love just by working on them and realizing that is the change that needs to be done!!
3 years ago I weighed 221 pounds. Today I weigh 207 pounds. No there isn’t much of a difference, however, I appreciate my body for all that it does. I am stronger, not just physically but mentally as well. I am not ashamed of my body anymore. It may not be perfect but the flaws that I carry around make me who I am. I am 100% okay with that!!!!!!!
That is my perfect client!!!